GraceWorks

Yesterday was a good day.

My brother AC dropped by the house and we had fun time taking pictures. Hahaha… I guess we are frustrated models. Anyway… I tried to catch some z’s yesterday before meeting up with Angela but whenever my brother’s home that’s just next to impossible.

So i left home feeling sleepy… T.T But when I saw Angela I got excited. It was like “YIPEE!” Gela gurl! ^^ We talked while stuffing ourselves with pizza… she eats pizza now! Good girl! Angela nauseates at the sight of beef… but I ordered non-beef pizza for her so were safe. ^^

We had a great time talking and we just missed Michelle. But she’s back from Switz! Yippee again! Can’t wait to see our lovely Mitch…

Oh and I was also sad yesterday because a friend of mine has nasty back problem… and it was just devastating for him because having that means he can’t do stuffs that he used to do. Anyway I hope he gets better.

After work today I’m tagging along my office mate and we’ll go to this home for unwed mothers because she goes there every Friday to minister to them. Then tomorrow I hope I can go swimming again…

I’ve been stuffin myself with lotsa food since Tuesday and my feet are getting bigger!!! Hahaha… Just this lunch I ate a 245 ml mango ice cream. Yummylicious… Mangoes…

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On the side:

I think I’m going to have a safe landing. I dunno… for the past days I felt like I was floating and might hit the ground in a very hurtful way…. but now… the best way to describe the feeling is that I’ll have a safe landing. There’d be a thud but hmmm… I think I know what this is all about.

Today’s March 22… it has been 11 months since… haay…

I actually don’t understand how I feel. I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel. I’m glad that I’m not depressed or anything though. I’m just afraid that maybe I’m numbing myself again to protect my heart. That’s scary. According to my counselling I need to grieve properly over losses… otherwise it will become pathological grief. But grief comes in many forms too… sometimes it doesn’t even involve crying.

Pero masakit sa heart.

I’m just glad that friends are supportive. My bestfriend Tara just called me yesterday. Pinasaya niya ako. ^^ Gusto ko na tuloy pumunta ng Davao…

I just hate it when people sort of make me hate him. They try to put him in a bad light. Well that doesn’t work for me. I don’t want to hate people… especially him. Well at least I’m bitter, right?

I’m not fanning the flame anymore. But I know love will remain… I won’t shoo it away… i’ll wait for time to just change its form.

i’m boring because i’m bored. i’m boring my seat now doing nothing course.

Actually yesterday I worked on an online puzzle. If I remember it right I think that was 320+ pices. I thought I’d never finish it but I did!!! Hahahaha!!! Just before I went home. I’m good… yeah.

I’m still thinking if I’m going to do one again today. It’s challenging but it strains my eyes of course.

Oh! Last Saturday I had a great time. I woke up early and went to Marikina to swim. Well I can’t swim well. Not yet anyway. But I’m working on it! Woohoo!!! At least I can float… hehehe…. and move a bit.

After swimming in Marikina I went back to QC to change my clothes and I went to Lyceum (we’re a university already by the way…) to watch my chorale’s concert. It was really fun. I met my friends there and they all gave me a hug and a kiss. I missed them so much and seeing them perform on stage made me happy even if I wasn’t a part of it anymore. I was actually teasng vincent because he was really envious about the tenors. They only had three tenors but they were good. Too bad I wasn’t able to hang out with them more ‘coz I needed to go home already.

Anyway… I wish to see them again.

Now I’ll slip back to boredom.

=/

Counselling’s over. I’m glad I made it… and I went through the whole process.

I was even a little bit anxious about the “goodbye” part since m group had been a big part of me. I super learned a lot from it. BUt now I have to go solo. I have to use the skills I learned with the group.

Well our good goodbye was indeed a good one. It warmed my heart… it wasn’t painful… just a bit sad. Too bad I wasn’t able to hang out with them after our session. BUt i know I’ll be seeing the guys again. Hopefully by that time I’ve already gone far with my being a pilgrim. The guys gave me tokens (we gave each other lil keepsakes) and twas good. I received a small pillow which I’m using now… a colorful bracelet from our facilitator which I’m wearing now, a little mermaid stuff which looks like a keychain…. a wonderful letter from my counsellor, a box of notes from papemelroti, and a bunch of good wishes and blessings.

I keep them all in my heart.

Now I hope I’m ready for hmmmm….. really serious business. *big sigh*

Be ready… heart of mine.